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NOTE: I am not posting this on my blog because I'm trying to "start" anything. A number of my more liberal friends were ahead of me in this decision, so if I posted this in the Garden, they would not see it. Also, since this is my blog, I can say what I want here. If people don't want to read what I think, they can close the window.
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I think I'm leaving the Garden.
Knitting and Gardening don't mesh well anyway -- just imagine trying to keep the yarn clean while weeding.
For a long time, I've gotten the distinct impression that liberals aren't welcome in the Garden. I am a liberal. Ergo I am not welcome. The back-breaking straw was probably a joke that was posted there last week. Now the person who posted the joke wasn't part of the Garden during some of the more memorable and spectacular liberal-bashing that I've seen; she's relatively new there. And I'm sure that she thought that the beer parts of the joke were funny, and that's why she shared it. Almost everyone who replied thought it was hysterically funny. 1 person (our resident diplomat) declined to join in the laughter. Another stated that she was offended and hasn't posted since.
Me? I kept my mouth shut. Told you I'm a coward.
According to the joke, as a liberal, I
- am weak
- am less skilled
- live off conservatives
- am a jackass
- produce little or nothing
- like to govern the producers (conservatives) and decide what to do with the production
- believe Europeans are more enlightened than Americans
- crept in (to America) after the Wild West was tamed and created a business of trying to get more for nothing
The joke ends with "It should be noted that a liberal may have a momentary urge to angrily respond to the above before forwarding it." I suppose I'm guilty of that, since I am reposting portions of the joke. I would strike "momentary" from that sentence, however, since this joke and its effects have been much on my mind in the past week, even if it's taken me 6 days to decide how to respond.
Even before this, I'd started opening the Garden in a separate browser session, so as not to "contaminate" my knitting, writing, and other fun websites with its negative aura. This begs the question: Why am I still there? Why didn't I leave ages ago?
Because I kept thinking that the good would outweigh the bad. Don't throw the baby out with the bathwater. Junk like that. So I'm taking a break. I won't log in for 2 weeks, and we'll see if I miss it. I think I won't.
8 comments:
Beccaie I am sorry.
To be honest, I have thought about going back several times. Especially after the last Moot and I realized how much I was missing out because people just don't talk on the yahoo boards anymore. But the few times I have poked my head back in, I remember exactly why I left and this was it.
There are a few who want to have thoughtful political discussions, but there are many more who don't. They like to use stereotypes of political thoughts, race, ethnicity, etc. in jokes, thoughts, and statements. And to be frank, I got tired of it.
It was quite ok for people to state the far right point of view, but the gods forbid anyone put up a more liberal point of view. You, Pansy, a few others who have left, and I got attacked for it when we did, rather than respecting our thoughts and entering into a thoughtful debate.
I guess its the weakness in the liberal character, but I don't want to stay around that kind of attitude. I don't want to stand and fight with people who think I am less of a human being for being a Liberal. I want to have an intelligent discussion and not be brought down by derogatory remarks. I want to be somewhere where my thoughts and feelings are respected, even if they aren't agreed with. I want to be somewhere where EVERYONE is respected and cherished as a thoughtful and intelligent human being and isn't looked down on for their beliefs because they differ with others. And unfortunately the garden wasn't one of those places.
I went and read the joke and I am shocked. And I understand your anger and frustration over it. I also understand and support your decision.
After spending the majority of my life keeping silent and not wanting "to make waves", I realized after the HELL of these last 8 years that we just can't do it anymore. We can't be brow beaten into a corner by conservative bullys. We can't be told that its wrong to be Liberal. It is not wrong, it is who we are. We can't be made to feel bad by comments and jokes. AND THEN made to feel bad because we "didn't realize it was a just a joke." Yeah, right. And we can't be made to keep our opinions to ourselves anymore. Look what keeping quiet gave us!
I am not going to do it anymore. I am going to speak out and so should you. If you don't feel comfortable, then it would be time to find a place where you feel you truly can be. I think that it is a good decision and I hope you find a peaceful place to rest your feet.
Yes, I finally just left after saying I was offended. Who needs this? The person who posted that "joke" has only spoken to me voluntarily about twice since the big blow up in 2004, which I find ironic sense Kally and I write to each other all the time in a small exercise support group. Heck, she just loaned me a book. :D
Dang. Even worse, it had gotten to the point that the Garden wasn't fun anymore...I kept trying to jolly things up and it just stayed mired in gloom. All well, things change over time. That's just the way things are. Time to move on, said I.
Beccaie, Sara ( who has also gafiated) and I are holding down the fort at The Walk, and I'm still over at The Diva list to support Saelind and Aubri, and since no one comes over there but us, I'm content.
But I still have access to the old site, and I miss having somewhere to go and put up funny pictures. I'm toying with the idea of having another group...no politics, no whining, just some fun. I would probably open it up to some of my friends on the WTR:Yahoo group as well, as long as everyone followed da rules.
In the meantime, we have Homegals for the writing and reading of same. Did you ever get your Nano piece done?
Arwen, you having any time to do writing these days? :)
What AR and Pansy said.
I quietly slipped out the gate after it was 'suggested' that I remove a statement that offended the conservative bloc, and a thread I had posted to was shut down. As I recently said to someone else, with all the drama in my life right now, I don't need the manufactured, radio-pundit-esque display going on there. I'm trying to find ways to connect to those who will still listen politely to me, even if we don't agree. Facebook is working, to a degree, and has had the happy side effect of helping me keep up with others I had lost track of.
Once I shut the gate, I haven't gone back. I REALLY miss my do-dah divas, but the temptation to go to the other forum would be too strong, and I know it's better for my emotional health if I don't expose myself to that kind of venom. Now that I see what passes for a joke there, I know I made the right decision.
Howdy, ladies!
Pans, can't you post fun and funky things in HOMEGALS? I mean, we're both mods. We could send AR & Frinky invites.
I mean, DANG!!
I'll be honest. I wasn't offended. I even chuckled a little... but I'm middle-of-the-road politically and I'm used to crass conservative humor from my dad (who considers himself somewhere to the right of Rush Limbaugh) Then I thought, "Man, that's going to stir some shit."
And it did.
One of the things I love is that I can just be... me ... with y'all.
At least, I think I can.
Maybe I'm deluded.
I dunno.
But you're all VERY welcome at HOMEGALS! Please??? Consider it... Please???
Love you all TONS!!!
Deenie, you can be just you with us, or at least with me. For me the difference is, I don't expect you to believe the way that I do, and I have never had you act the same towards me. You accept me for having different views and don't try to push yours on me and thus, we have no issues.
I don't expect everyone to believe the same as I do. I don't even want it, after all, how boring a world it would be. I just want to be accepted for having a different view and not chastised, looked down, degraded, and so on for it.
You have never done that Deenie.
What is Homegals? I don't know what it is.
Thank you all for your support! I was really a bit worried that I'd attract people with flamethrowers, but they haven't shown up. Whew!
To those who e-mailed me and didn't want to comment publicly, thank you too.
Pansy - I did win NaNo this year. Wrote the whole 50,000 in the last week. You can watch my ridiculous progress if you check out my November archives. No, you can't read it. No one can. Even I don't read the stuff I write -- but I sure have fun writing it.
AR - Homegals is a writing group, but they don't make you write to be a member. Otherwise I couldn't be one. :)
Frink - you've already confirmed me as a friend in Facebook, so I don't have a direct response to your comment, but I didn't want to leave you out of the list. :)
Deen - You are more emphatically welcome to be you with me anytime you'd like. I will and do still love you. :) Gotta say, though, that my initial reaction was "Oh gods, a beer joke. And it's long. This can't be good." Before I read more than the first paragraph. Then again, I've been very flinch-prone lately in the Garden.
Oops! Here's a :) for Pansy. Sorry, I didn't realize I had them in all the other paragraphs until I'd posted.
Deenie foo, I've started posting all my stuff there so far now. I'd be more than glad to invite Arwen and Frinky over there. :)
Let's do it.
And we still have Sparks. I'd be glad to do the Doodah Diva thing there if you want, Frinky Dinky! :)
Guess maybe I'll use the old site for the Sci fi people or something, then. It's still a great site for low volume stuff.
Arwen, I'm still running my story over at Homegals for editing purposes. It was set up for all sorts of other stuff though, like, oh, say, housework. :D
Not that I ever do any!
Ah, Beccaie! Why don't you pick out at least a COUPLE of your better paragraphs as show us. I'm sure I've read worse stuff than what you can write! LOL>
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